Words of my mind- (PART 1)

Finally as we are reaching the end of this year, just thought of sharing the journey of mine through the whole year. Finally turned 18 this week, so from now I can slowly be more expressive about my thoughts and opinions as an actual adult of this society, and finally take part in more serious discussions and present my point of view.

From the academic point of view, I have literally given the most number of exams this year. From the pre-board exam of school, CBSE Board exams, JEE Mains, IAT, NEST,CUET and finally ended with my end semester exams of my first semester. In my academic journey, there were many low phases which I still remember today. Like, after my first attempt of JEE Mains, when the answer key came and when I calculated the marks, after that I just went to my room and turned off all the lights and then just covered myself with blanket and just closed my eyes because It was a very less score. Then my father came, and then he talked to me and motivated me and told to look forward for the next attempt. Then, my next attempt was after just 2 weeks after board exams, because I had computer science as a subject, and I literally got like 10 days for the preparation of computer science, which was not needed. So, then my board exams completed, I prepared for the second attempt of JEE, tried to gave my best and guess what the end result was, my second attempt score was even less than the first one. And after that, NTA announces the final overall result of JEE Main which is made based upon the best of two scores, if any candidate has given both the attempts, then any one attempt marks will took under consideration for results. Then my final result came, maybe the date was 29th April, and the funny or the sad part is (I had not slept properly from the past 3 days because every night I used to check whether the result has came or not, checking twitter, certain YouTube channels about result etc.), I literally was awake till 3:23 AM to see my result after refreshing the result website more than 300 times. And finally it opened and I looked at my rank and the cut off to qualify for writing the JEE Advanced exam for IIT. I still remember the cut off percentile was like 90.7777 and I was not able to clear that. And at that moment, like my dream was shattered totally, I just lost at that moment, but I still not cried at that moment. My mind was just thinking what's next after this. Then I gave few exams like CUET, IAT, NEST etc., which were to get enrolled in some of the best basic sciences degree institutes. And, I was able to clear the qualifier criteria to appear for the counselling. But, at the end I was not able to get any of the seat in any of the courses. And, while I was giving these exams, the JOSAA counselling(who take care of IITs, NITs, IIITs counselling) was going on, so I got a seat there in one college, and currently I am a student of that college also.

My goal was to get Aerospace Engineering in any of the IITs, which got broke that day. And it was clear in my mind from day one that, I am not going to take a drop year and re-appear for this exam again, I can't give one whole year of my life to this. And, I can't leave my goal also. SO, the only option which I felt right was to choose the Mechanical Engineering field, and appear for GATE exam and pursue masters in Aerospace Engineering. And, with this I choose B.tech Mechanical Engineering in NIT Puducherry and cleared my mind about the next four years of my college life, how it should be to have the greatest come back of my own life.

Because, if I still recall those things today, It still hurts at the bottom of my heart. I don't have problems with failures in my life, because it's a part of life. I just wanted to fail my way after giving everything I have to that thing, which I really want because my heart knows, that day I not gave my best and I have to make things a lot better in the next few years.

Okay, I think, I have shared a lot of things, I would like to stop here for this moment.

(If you like reading this, please share your comment. I am starting again my blogging journey)